


those pretty sounds you couldn't hear

by orphan_account



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Brendon is Tyler's best friend, Brendon is kind of a surexcited kid (he's 18 btw), Depression, Fluff, Gay, I'll add tags, Josh is 19, Josh is 5'6, M/M, Self Harm, Smut, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Tyler is 17, Tyler is 5'1 (pretty short), Tyler is kind of strange but in a good way, deaf!Tyler, homophobic content sometimes, sad stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-09-25 21:52:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9847343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tyler's deafness doesn't stop his thoughts to be too loud, and one day, when his best friend Brendon drags him with him to a strip club, he meets a strange boy named Josh.tw : self-harm, alcoholism, suicide attempt, depression, and others that I forget. stay safe guys.





	1. sundays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another story, again.  
> hope you'll like it !
> 
> tw : alcoholism

It’s Sunday. Tyler wishes it was Friday, he loved Fridays. His head was aching. The rain was pouring. His delicate hands were sliding against the cold window, his eyes closed, trying to feel the raindrops when they were hitting it. He was wondering how it sounded, to hear the rain. One day, he asked it to his mother. She said that it was relaxing when the rain was soft. But, now, it looked more like a thunderstorm, and when the sky growled, Tyler felt the vibration. It ran through his arm, and he sighs while opening his eyes. He thought that the rain and the wind that was shaking violently the trees were beautiful, just like the lightning that ripped the sky apart. He found beauty in destruction. In self-destruction, too. And the weather right now was matching how he felt. _‘thunderstorms, clouds, snow and a slight drizzle’_ He wrote on the fog that had formed on the window because of how is room was warmer than the cold world outside.

He stepped back. The light in his room was a warm yellow color, and he would’ve liked to be as yellow and warm as it was. Instead of being yellow, if he was a color, he would’ve been grey, or maybe blue. A dark shade of blue.

He sat down on his chair, looking for some paper and for a pen in his desk. His hands started to write down how he felt.

 

_i've got a migraine, and my pain will range from up, down, and sideways,_

_thank god it's friday because fridays will always be better than sundays_

_because sundays are my suicide days, i don't know why they always seem so dismal,_

_thunderstorms, clouds, snow, and a slight drizzle,_

_whether it's the weather or the letters by my bed,_

_sometimes death seems better than the migraine in my head_

 

He blinks, looking at it for a few seconds, trying to find something cool in what he just wrote but he can’t. Sighing, he gets up from his chair and decides to go to the bathroom to clear his thoughts a little bit. Facing himself in the mirror, he starts to think too much. Why was he alive ?

He’s deaf, and worthless.

Everything seemed to fall apart around him. Everything he touched fell apart, he hurts everyone he talks to. He felt too different to live. Sure, he looked like everyone. His brown fluffy hair was firmly sitting on his head like everyone’s else, his chocolate eyes, his nose and his mouth were on his face like everyone else, he had arms, legs, like everyone else. He had ears, too. But they couldn’t hear like everyone else.

Maybe he should leave, maybe he should take the letters out of the drawer of his nightstand. They were patiently waiting to be taken out every time he opened the drawer to take the blades, but he never had the strength to take them and to leave this world forever.

He turned on the sink, splashing water on his face. His hands rested on the edge of the sink.

He couldn’t leave. His mother needed him. He couldn’t do that to her, she was already feeling too low because of his son. His failure of son.

Speaking of her, he heard – no, he _felt_ the walls shaking a bit, announcing that she was home. He almost ran downstairs, happy to know that she was fine.

Like he was used to, she talked to him, but he just felt her alcoholized breathing brushing against his nose, not showing her that hey, her son was deaf, he couldn’t hear, because he was used to this. He hugged her tightly, even if he felt her pushing him away, even if she slapped him when he finally let go. He smiled widely to her, and he could understand " _diner_ " on her lips when she spoke. Quickly, he get to the kitchen, starting to cook two steaks and potatoes. He loves her mother, even if Brendon kept telling him that the way she acted with him was not okay. He loves her because he forgives her, he forgives her because he knows that having a deaf son who doesn’t even know how to be happy, who doesn’t even realize that he can’t be deaf _and_ suicidal because it’s too much to handle for her, who doesn’t even make something cool with his life. He’s homeschooled since forever, he spends his days writing his thoughts in a notebook and nights looking at the ceiling while crying or even hurting himself.

If he left, it would be better for his mother but if he left, he would be a source of problems. _Again_. So he’ll just stay like this, being a deaf kid with loud thoughts, cooking dinner while his drunk mother yelled horrible thing at him while hiccuping and giggling, but he couldn’t hear it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope it wasn't too bad


	2. yellow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendon's birthday and Josh first apparition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my goal is to post one chapter a day yeyy  
> i know i won't succeed yeyyy  
> anyway this chapter is longer than the other ones and yeah idk

texts

**TYLER CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING**

_Yes, what is it ?_

**TOMORROW WE RE THE 12TH, WE R IN APRIL**

_This isn’t a question, Brendon. I know tomorrow is your birthday._

**please i’m begging on my knees come w me somewhere in the city please please please**

_Of course I can, it was planned like this. You don’t have to beg, you know. Why wouldn’t I want to come with you ?_

**its a bit.. special you’ll see hehe its a surprise**

_It’s your birthday Brendon, not mine._

 

* * * End of the conversation. * * * 

 

* * *

 

 

He didn’t get an answer to it and he sighs, knowing too well that he won’t have one. He was a bit scared, because he knew how Brendon could have strange ideas sometimes, and most of the time, Tyler didn’t get it. But it makes his friend laugh when he doesn’t understand, so it’s not that bad.

The sun disappeared a few hours ago, and Tyler was desesperately looking at his ceiling. He was imagining how Brendon’s voice sounded. He would love to hear it, just one time. Of course, he could _feel_ it. One time, his friend sang something that he wrote, called " _this is gospel_ ", and even if he doesn’t know what gospel is, Tyler cried while he felt the waves of power coming from Brendon. Another day, Brendon was really drunk, and he sang something to Tyler again, in his basement, it was about not being "as think as you drunk I am", also "champagne, gasoline" and something called "cocaine". They really laughed this night even if the day after Brendon didn’t remember the funniest part when he made "these high heels work". He sighed while closing his eyes. Maybe one day a miracle would happen and he would suddenly hear.

And, strangely, he fell asleep easily after this. And he had his first full night of sleep since a lot of time.

 

* * *

 

 

When he woke up the next morning, he felt good and not tired for the first time since a long time. It was 1:26 pm. He texted ‘ _Happy Birthday Bren’_ to his friend, who said to him that he would come at 8 pm and that he had to be ready if he wanted to stay alive. Smiling, Tyler get out of his bedroom, going straight to the kitchen to cook eggs and bacon. He wouldn’t eat more since his mother was working, it’s Monday. He started to sing with all his heart, and he couldn’t hear it, but he felt good. He liked to sing the things that he wrote on his notebook, maybe it sounded bad, maybe it sounded awful and senseless. But he didn’t care.

He literally spent the day looking at the TV, imagining what the people were saying when he couldn’t find a channel with subtitles, and he found it really funny. Tyler actually had fun when he was alone. That was surely the first time that it happened. At 6:30 pm, he decided that it was time to get ready for Brendon’s birthday. He couldn’t wear something too… _less_ , so he couldn’t wear sweatpants. But he just couldn’t picture himself wearing his black suit, the one that he wore at his father’s funeral. So he just picked black skinny jeans – really, really skinny, actually (and he didn’t even thought of what Brendon will say when he’ll see him, maybe ‘ _nice ass’_ or something) – and a yellow hoodie. Definitely, he loved yellow. He spent almost an hour in the bathroom, trying to do something nice with his hair, but he gave up and washed it all out when he saw that he couldn’t do anything. He’ll just let it poke out everywhere with its fluffiness.

He puts a note _‘i’m sorry, i am with brendon for his birthday. i cooked something to eat for you, heat it up in the microwave. don’t wait for me. text me if you need something. i love you, mom.’_ on the table after putting on his black vans, knowing that she’ll probably find this too much, but he couldn’t help it.

Shutting the door behind him, he waited for Brendon. And he didn’t wait long because his friend clumsily parked his car in front of his house a few minutes after. When Mister Big Forehead got out of his car, waving at Tyler, he checked him out. He rose his hands.

"Wow, man, your jeans are the tightest jeans I’ve ever seen." He signed. Tyler blushed crazily, quickly raising his hands. "Should I change them ?"

Brendon laughed and shook his head, then waving his hand to show to Tyler to come. He did it, and when he walked in front of Brendon, he felt a slap on his butt. He lets out a gasp (that he didn’t hear) and turned to his best friend, who was laughing. He thought of getting mad, but the cute dimples that appeared on his friend’s face stopped him.

On the drive, Tyler tried desperately to question Brendon on their destination. He didn’t answer, and not because he was driving. He was purposely doing this.

The car stopped in front of something that Tyler never saw. Yes, he rarely get outside. But as far as he could remember, he has never seen that. It was a black building with only one store. Something was written with fancy letters, glowing bright pink. The night was falling, so it was even more noticeable. Tyler could also feel like a… a beat ? But he wasn’t sure. Brendon looked at him with a teasing smile. He obviously knew that Tyler didn’t know what it was, and that he wasn’t at all allowed to be here.

Brendon didn’t say anything, came out of the car and opened the door to Tyler, doing a mocking bow to embarass his friend, who giggled silently. He took him by the wrist, making Tyler follow him. A man was standing beside the black door, he looked at Brendon with respect, and then raised an eyebrow higher than a normal human could while looking at Tyler. But he didn’t say anything.

When they entered in the building, the beat was getting way louder, and the floor was vibrating under their feet. Tyler started to feel uncomfortable as he saw people… dancing ? Was it dancing ? They were really close and they were kissing, so he wasn’t sure. Everyone was moving almost together, and Tyler’s brain started to enter in an alarm mode, slowly realizing. He pulled two times at Brendon’s shirt softly. His best friend turned to face him, a wide smile on his face.

"Where are we ?" Tyler signed anxiously.

Brendon didn’t answer, he just took his other wrist and dragged him through all the people who were _‘dancing’_ to bring him in front of a scene. Tyler’s eyes went wide.

There was women standing and doing weird things around a metal bar. One of them was dancing, the others were doing some weird moves, almost naked, looking like snakes. Tyler felt really, really uncomfortable. Brendon seemed to be really _happy_ to see this. But it wasn’t the same thing for him. He felt… _disgusted._ He knew nothing about things that were about sex, but he knew enough to know that he should be _excited_ to see this. He wasn’t. They were pretty, yes – but not ‘ _exciting’_. He signed quickly « bathroom » to Brendon and ran through the crowd of people, feeling sick from the vibrations that were coming from everywhere, his head started to ache in rythm with the beat. He felt so small and he was suffocating.

When he finally found the bathroom, he ran inside, shutting the door behind him. He lets out the breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. He get to the mirror and faced himself.

Fucking freak. Why wasn’t he turned on while everyone was ? Why did he had to be different another time ? He started to cry, and looked down when he saw a door open behind him in the mirror. He didn’t want someone to pity him after what happened.

He spent five minutes looking at the sink, trying to breath normally again. He looked up, and when he judged that his eyes weren’t red enough to see that he cried, he came out of the bathroom. Not finding Brendon with his sight, he went and sat on one of the few seats that were empty in the back of what Tyler deduced was a strip club. He remembers seeing this in a show on TV, a year or two ago.

When he sat, he took his knees against his chest, holding them tightly, and burried his head in his arms. He felt bad again, the club smelt bad. He didn’t want to fuck up Brendon’s birthday – and he was probably dancing with someone right now – but if he got up, he will throw up.

He sighed, and stayed a moment like that. He lifted up his head when he felt someone sitting beside him. He didn’t looked at the person until he felt a poke against his shoulder, and he almost fell off his seat. When he turned his head, he was dazzled by another boy. He wasn’t really smiling with his mouth, but his beautiful eyes were smiling a bit, an interested look on his face. His hair was a bright yellow, a warm yellow, a _safe_ yellow. And this boy was really… _attractive_. Realizing he was being blinded by his beauty, Tyler blinked three times like an idiot and shook his head. It made the other one laugh, and Tyler’s brain shouted a river of insults to himself for being deaf. It must have been the prettiest of noises, and his what seemed to be mocha eyes (Tyler couldn’t see, the club was pretty dark, tinted with purple) were crinkled. Tyler smiled like an idiot, and then, the boy spoke.

And Tyler went red, and then white.

"Wait a minute, please." Tyler signed, and the boy looked at him, confused. He quickly searched in his pocket for a pen and a piece of paper that he always had for awkward situations like this when he went out. _‘i’m deaf_ ’ he wrote down on the paper, giving him to the boy, and the smile that he previously had faded into a small ‘o’. He smiled to Tyler and made a sign towards his pen, asking "May I ?" before blushing, and it made Tyler giggle silently, because he knew that he thought that he couldn’t understand. He did, and so, he gave him his pen. He wrote down something, and gave it to him, purposely brushing his hand. He did a shy sign of the hand and disappeared from the club.

Tyler looked down at the paper. There was a number, with a note.

 

_My name is Josh._

_Text me. I’d love to learn your language._

_And your name, too._

He blushed. Someone purposely gave him his number. Someone attractive. He smiled while pulling out his phone. ‘ _hello, i’m the deaf boy from the strip club_ ’ He typed, and then he deleted it, realizing it was too long and weird. ‘ _hey’_ too short and he won’t know who it was.

He spent literally hours looking on his phone, wondering what he could send. He was interrupted by Brendon, who looked drunked and a bit idiot with a wide smile on his face. He didn’t say – signed – anything, knowing they were leaving. He locked his phone and tried not to think of it until they got home.

He giggled when Brendon began to explain – with his voice – what happened this night. Tyler, not wanting to distract him from the road, it was already too dangerous because his friend was drunk. He just nodded, amused about how his friend forgot about his deafness. And even if he couldn’t hear, in those moments, he felt normal.

But he couldn't focus on his friend's lips. He was focusing on... someone else's lips. And he was sure of something.

He really liked yellow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it :^)


	3. texts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of really bad chapter

It took three days and two panic attacks to Tyler to finally send the text Josh was waiting for, overthinking about what he will think of him.

 

_to Josh : I can’t hear, but I can write. My name is Tyler and I’m sorry that I have been so long to send a sign of life, Josh._

 

He tossed his phone beside him on his bed, looking away from Brendon who was spinning on the chair while throwing his arms happily everywhere. And again, Tyler was... _too much_. Too much words, sounding like a robot, not a single abreviation or smiley or nothing. The sun was shining brightly, like every day since he met Josh, remembering him of his yellow hair and from his beautiful smile that could light up every dark place. He smiled widely, blushing a bit while he looked through his window, examining the neighbor’s child who was swinging on a swing without really seeing her. He didn’t see Brendon throwing his arms everywhere again, but this time, it was to talk to him. When he received a ball of paper in the forehead, he gasped and turned immediatly to his best friend who was shouting _‘hah!_ ’, banging his feet against the floor, proud of the perfect shoot he made.

“Tell me more on this guy. Describe him and how you met.” Brendon said with his hands, grinning.

Tyler sighed, shaking his head, and looked up at his friend while raising his hands. “His hair is yellow, like the sun. His smile is like a sunray and I was almost blind instead of deaf because of it.” He giggled silently. “He has a nose ring, too. And he’s clearly really attractive.”

Brendon looked at Tyler, and raised his eyebrows slowly, higher and higher, making the deaf boy more red each second. When he stopped, they stayed awkwardly like this for ten seconds. “Do you like him?” Brendon asked.

He couldn’t like someone he “spoke” with for two minutes. He didn’t even know his age, his family name, nothing. “No.” Tyler answered, shaking a bit. He wasn’t even attracted to guys, was he ? He never questionned himself on this. Brendon sighed, and stood up.

Tyler’s phone buzzed loudly, and they both froze with wide eyes. His best friend was quicker – he threw himself on the phone, taking it. And when he reads the text, he starts to laugh like a kid. Showing it to Tyler, he smiles widely.

 

_from Josh : and i’m sorry because i must’ve scared you, tyler. what were you doing in a strip club ? it’s dangerous, and not the best idea. i'm sure you're not even 21 lol_

The brown haired one starts to blush from how Josh seemed to care.

 

_to Josh : It was my best friend’s birthday, I couldn’t not be here. And you ? What were you doing here ? I'm sure you're not 21 either._

 

Tyler's heart ached a bit. Of course, they couldn't be friend, they weren't from the same world. He was like a child, while Josh was surely an adult, and he was probably turned on by all those girls. Unlike Tyler.

 

_from Josh : i was making sure my friend was getting home alive i wouldn't be in a club if it wasn't for that, i hate them. too loud. and actually i'm 19 so u're right, young boy. how old are you?_

 

Tyler blushed, because seeing someone replying this fast to him was surprising. He also smiled while reading that Josh wasn't in the club to "have fun".

 

_to Josh : Too loud ? Sorry I can't relate. :P I'm seventeen._

 

He hoped that Josh didn't took the joke bad. 

 

_from Josh : i knew it, i k n e w it !!_

 

He didn't replied, not just because he didn't know what to reply, but also because Josh sent him another text in the next couple of seconds.

 

_from Josh : do you see where is the starbucks ? i'll like to take a coffee and to get to know you better. or just to take a coffee if you don't want to reveal too much from your lovely personnality._

 

He blushed again, furiously this time, his eyes widening and he almost thought of saying no but his fingers typed the answer for him.

 

_to Josh : I will come, but are you sure about this ? I can't talk or hear, you know._

 

The reality was aching his chest once again.

 

_from Josh : sure, but like you said, you can write. 4pm ;) x_

 

He smiled as wide as he could, locked his phone and remembered that Brendon was here with him. His best friend was grinning like an idiot, looking at Tyler's phone. He jumped off the bed, stepping back to the door. "Good night, time to sleep, rest for tomorrow, asshole." Brendon sticked his tongue out and before Tyler could answer to him, he was gone and the deaf boy felt the door close downstairs.

 

The warmth in his chest reminded him of how he loved yellow.


	4. peppermint hot chocolate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i take centuries to update my fics i'm sorryy  
> hope you'll enjoy it anyway

Tyler definitely couldn't sleep.

The night wasn't as calm as the last ones. The rain came back, hitting the boy's window the whole night, and the wind was violently shaking the shutters, making the wall vibrate. He spent his night trying to write something to calm down the storm in his brain. Sure, he was happy to make a friend, but way too anxious, and he kept repeating to himself that Josh was doing this to make fun of him.

 

_won't you go to someone else's dreams?_  
_won't you go to someone else's head?_  
_haven't you taken enough from me?_  
_won't you torture someone else's sleep?_

When he opened his eyes, the bright light coming from the white clouds blinded him for a few seconds. The clock was indicating 2:14 pm. While he got up from his bed slowly, walking dizzily to his door because his head was aching really bad, he remembered that today wasn't a day doing nothing. His eyes widened and his headache was forgotten the second after. He was so, _so_ late. When he ran downstairs, he didn't even pay attention to all the Jack Daniels bottles on the floor, and the answer from his mother on the paper (a poorly written ' _fuck you_ ') didn't even touched him. He was so, _so_ late but so, _so_ happy. His hands moved quickly towards an apple that he ate right after.

Tyler wasn't the type of person to spend hours to choose his outfit, but he had to admit that this time, it took him half an hour. He ran in the shower and washed his hair with his favorite shampoo that smelled like strawberries, and he dried himself quickly right after. His clothes weren't really original : just a white shirt with black long sleeves, ripped light blue jeans and he will put his pair of black converses with it. He used the hair dryer, making his brown hair even fluffier than usual. The smile that he was wearing constantly made him feel strange when he saw himself in the mirror ; he wasn't used to this.

Time was running, and when it was finally 3:30 pm, Tyler took his phone, put his shoes, took a sheet of paper and a pen and left the house happily without leaving a single note.

When he unlocked his phone, he thought of texting Josh but he didn't do it, afraid of seeming too clingy. But as he was making his way downtown, anxiety started to grow in his chest. Should he tell to Josh that he was sick and get back to his home ? He couldn't do this, it would be lying to his new friend. Because of this thought, guilt grew in him, replacing the anxiety.

The Starbucks showed itself not long after and Tyler started to shake a bit and he smiled widely when he saw an amount of yellow fluffy hair.

 _Josh_.

And he was even more beautiful than in the club, because right now the light of the clouds was showing him clearly.

Try not to pass out was hard when Josh saw Tyler and smiled to him, his eyes all crinkled. The deaf boy smiled back, waving his hand towards the yellow haired one. Not really knowing what to do, Josh makes a sign to Tyler, and understanding that he wanted to go in, he follows him.

They ordered a peppermint hot chocolate — Tyler wrote to Josh on his paper that he will take what the older one wanted to take.

Sitting down at a table, facing each other, Tyler reaches for the paper and the pen in his pocket and write down " _tell me more about yourself Josh."_ before handing him the paper, blushing a bit. He smiled fondly, and wrote " _i'm not that interesting. Joshua William Dun, 19 years old, i love music, i play drums and trumpet."_ Tyler's face moved quickly in a happy smile. " _Really ?! I love music too. I can't hear it, but I can feel it. I play piano, and sometimes I like to sing the lyrics I write even if it probably sounds horrific. I love the way I feel when I sing. I feel normal."_ Josh smiled widely and took a sip of his hot chocolate, Tyler doing the same thing. " _You'll have to show me, one day."_ Tyler blushed crazily but shrugged. " _You'll have to, too !_ " he answered. Josh answered to this by sticking his tongue out, making Tyler giggle silently.

They drank their chocolate in silence. It didn't bother them. But, Josh started to talk and suddenly stopped himself. Shit, the boy was deaf. It made Tyler giggle again, but not silently this time, and the sound was so soft it made Josh's stomach twitch. _"You can speak with words. It makes me feel normal_." Tyler wrote, and Josh felt less guilty. He started to explain something, and Tyler put his hand in the crook of Josh's jaw, feeling the vibrations and understanding his intonations. Focusing on his lips, he caught some parts, Josh explaining what type of music he liked, and how he started to play drums. Some parts made Tyler smile — like when Josh explained he had a contract for the drums with his parents. Then, he stopped for a few seconds, and looked down at Tyler. "Can I show you something?" he asked, and the brown haired boy took a moment to be sure Josh said this, and nodded.

"You're cute." Josh signed.

Tyler was the darkest shade of red he could ever be. Josh laughed, and wrote on the paper " _That's all I know in your language. I'd love to learn more_."

Tyler's chest tickled. He felt warm. Josh finds him cute and want to learn to sign. Wow. " _do you want to learn the alphabet?_ " the brunette wrote down, and Josh nodded maybe a bit too fast.

That's how Josh learned the alphabet in Tyler's language.

* * *

 

"J... O... S... H." The yellow haired boy signed hesitantly, after half an hour of learning the alphabet. Tyler clapped his hands together, proud of how he remembered well of it.

"T...Y...L...E...R." He signed after, and Tyler smiled as wide as he could, his eyes shining like stars from happiness, letting out a happy gasp. It made Josh laugh, and he tangled his fingers in his hair.

Yellow was definitely his favorite color, and maybe the shade of pink that was invading Josh's cheeks will be his next favorite color.

The rain was pouring outside when they decided to leave. " _Do you want me to get you home ? It's raining cats and dogs."_ Josh wrote. Tyler nodded shyly, smiling slightly, happy to be able to spend more time with Josh.

When they got out, Josh removed his black coat and gave it to Tyler. He refused at first, but the yellow haired one was insisting. Tyler put it, blushing, putting the hood. Josh dis the same thing with the hood of his grey sweater he had underneath his coat. They walked silently, hands brushing sometimes.

Tyler's house was showing itself and the deaf boy didn't wanted it to stop already. But he had no choice when they were finally in front of his door.

Josh took Tyler's left hand and put it under his jaw, where it was placed before, and put his own right hand above it. "Thank you." he said, and the vibrations of his throat sent shivers in Tyler's body. He let go of his hand, after holding it a few seconds.

"huh, 'osh" Tyler started with his _voice_ , and Josh's eyes widened, and he then smiled fondly. "Yes?"

"huh, 'ee yo 'oon" He tried. He blushed crazily, hating himself for what he did. Why did he have to try to talk? But Josh, instead of laughing like Tyler was expecting, brushed his cheek quickly with his thumb.

"Of course."

_see you soon._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you❤


	5. fever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short and shitty, i'm sorry, i had one of the most shittiest day in my whole life.  
> but i wanted to post it anyway so yeah

Josh sighed, running his hand through is wet yellow hair while he closed the door behind him. He was cold, shivering and a fever was starting to grow in him, he felt it. But he was still smiling happily. This deaf boy was definitely making him happy.

The silence of his apartment suddenly felt strange; usually, he found it sad. But now, when he thought of it, Tyler was always just hearing silence. He won’t complain about the silence anymore. Pulling off his soaking sweatshirt, he felt a bit weak. Maybe did he caught a cold? Walking towards his kitchen and taking an Advil, he looked at his phone, seeing a text.

 

_from Tyler: I forgot to give you back your coat, I’m sorry._

Josh smiled. He forgot about his coat, and he suddenly understood why he caught a fever. He gave his coat to Tyler. His smile widened, proud of him, because if he didn’t do that, Tyler would’ve been sick.

 

_to Tyler : good, it’s an excuse for me to see you again hahaa ;) i’m not feeling rly well now, must’ve caught a fever so not now, but when you want to come send me a text i’ll txt you my address!_

When he sent it, he realized that he shouldn’t have said that he was sick. The cute boy will feel guilty because of this, and he didn’t want that.

 

_from Tyler : I’m so sorry, it’s because of me. Text me your address, please. I’ll come tomorrow and I’ll stay with you if you don’t feel better. Is that okay?_

Josh blushed like a thirteen years old boy talking to his crush. Tyler clearly said that he was coming over, that he _wanted_ to come over, even if the two boys don’t really knew each other really well. The deaf boy seemed to be someone really shy and proposing something like this should’ve been hard for him. But he did it.

 

_to Tyler : don’t come if you don’t feel like it, not that i don’t want to see you, of course i want to, but don’t feel forced._

 

He added his address at the end of the text, and it took him a few seconds to send it, not really sure about what he wrote, but he did it anyway. His phone buzzed just a few seconds after.

 

_from Tyler : See you tomorrow, 3pm. (:_

 

And Josh shouted like a happy kid. He’s going to see Tyler again, tomorrow. His aching head calmed him down quickly though, and he sneezed. He decided to take a shower, and to put clean and dry clothes on. He spent too long in it, wondering how the next day was going to be. Maybe Tyler was going to spoonfeed him shyly? No, of course not. Tyler was the one who had to be spoonfeeded. He giggled at this idea, realizing how ridiculous he was. Stepping out of the shower and drying himself quickly, he chose to put sweatpants and a warm hoodie because he was really cold and shivering really bad. Drying his hair a bit with a towel, he went to his couch, grabbing a blanket and, who knows, maybe he spent a part of his night learning some things in sign language.

 

* * *

 

 

Looking good while being sick was definitely way harder than Josh expected. Usually, he wasn’t finding himself pretty or handsome or whatever. But right now, he felt ugly. His skin was really pale, his cheeks tinted with a shade of pink, and he shouldn’t have shaved, he looked like fifteen without his stubble. His hair was messy, too. Maybe he should send a text to Tyler to cancel and- what the hell was he thinking about? He didn’t care about his look, did he? He bit his lip nervously. Usually, he wouldn’t care, he was sick anyway. But right now, knowing that Tyler will see him like this makes him uncomfortable. He tried to calm down a bit, and his heart dropped when he heard a shy knock on the door. And honestly, he almost ran to open it, not realizing that he didn’t have a shirt on, just sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his hips. Opening the door, he rubbed his left eye sleepily and ran his hand through his hair while smiling brightly to a blushing Tyler that made his heart flutter. The younger boy started to giggle silently and Josh signed “hi” clumsily. The deaf one’s eyes started to widen a bit, his smile growing into a toothy one, showing his slightly crooked teeth, and Josh never thought that a smile could be this cute. “You can sign. Cute.” Tyler answered by signing, and Josh was proud when he understood. “Yes, a bit.” He answered, a bit less clumsily. He made Tyler come in, and he toed off his black vans.

Josh just realized that Tyler was wearing his coat when he took it off. He felt like he was stabbed in the stomach, but the type of _sugary_ stab. The type of stab that you get when Tyler Robert Joseph is standing in front of you, handing you shyly your _own_ coat that _he_ wore on _his_ body. The type of stab that you get when you like Tyler Robert Joseph already a bit too much. Josh took the coat, and brushed Tyler’s fingers on his way, sending a shiver through his arm, reminding him of the night they met. Tyler looked through his apartment and signed “cool.”, earning a smile from Josh. He takes out his paper and his pen and writes “Just show me where are your cooking things, where it hurts and go sit on your couch. Don’t wrap yourself in a blanket. We need to make your fever cold down.” Josh smiled while reading. Doctor Joseph. It sounds pretty good.

He showed Tyler where was what he needed to cook, and when he needed to show where it hurts, he didn’t really know how to. So, he took Tyler’s hand, and puts it on his forehead, then his throat, and when he puts it on his stomach, the younger boy is blushing in a dark red shade. Josh laugh a bit and let go of his hand. Tyler looked away, a hand on his mouth, and pointed the couch. The yellow haired boy laughed again and went to sit down, turning his TV on, watching a shitty show on aliens.

Tyler was cooking ( _in his kitchen_ ) silently (of course), but it smelled really good. Sitting cross-legged, his hands on his lap, he was losing interest about the TV show. Now, what was interesting him, was the cute boy making him food to make him feel better, furrowing his eyebrows in concentration, and Josh smiled at this thought, and the way Tyler was biting his lip while searching for the next ingredient was really attractive. _Adorably attractive_.

He was done twenty minutes after, and he handed Josh a bowl of chicken soup, with a plate of rice with a curry sauce, smelling really good. Josh tapped on the couch beside him, showing Tyler that he could sit down. He did, and handed him the paper with written “I’m not a good cooker, so I hope it’s not too bad. It’s not really original, though.” And Josh smiled at it. He puts the paper back on the table, and when he tasted what Tyler cooked for him, he felt so happy. It tasted so good, and he had never ate simple rice that was that good. Josh smiled. “Love it. Did you make a plate for you too?” Josh wrote down. “No, I don’t eat that much.” Tyler answered. Josh nodded and wrote to Tyler that he could change the TV channel if he wanted to, but he didn’t. He just looked at the TV while Josh was eating, and even when he finished, he didn’t look away a single time. His eyes were wide open, his mouth parted slightly, his soft pouty lips forming a perfect shape. Josh smiled fondly, not stopping to look at him.

He saw Tyler’s eyelids starting to close a bit. He was tired, really tired. His head was tilting down a bit, and when his eyes shut completely he opened then widely a second after, blushing. “Tired?” Josh signed, giggling from Tyler’s cuteness. The boy nodded shyly. Josh signed “me too.” And opened his arms. The brown haired boy looked at him a few seconds, not understanding what he was doing, and then understood, letting out a small ‘oh!’. He hesitated, and then came a bit closer to Josh.

After some seconds of awkwardness, he climbed slowly on Josh’s body, blushing, and he nuzzled Josh’s chest while smiling widely. “Warm.” He signed, and he closed his eyes, falling asleep on top of Josh a few minutes after, while he was “ _listening_ ” to him telling a story to Tyler, the last said having his hand in the crook of Josh’s neck, feeling safe as the vibrations of Josh’s voice was running through his fingers.

The yellow haired one fell asleep right after, relaxed by Tyler’s soft breathing, wrapping his arms around him while smiling. Warm.

_Safe._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much everyone for all your nice feedback!! ♥


	6. drop of blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is going to be strange sorry not sorry :))  
> and it's so short omg

Maybe he should wake Josh up, because it was getting a bit late.

But maybe, Tyler just wanted to stare at this angel for thousands years.

A patch of sun was lightening Josh’s pale skin on his face and neck, making a shadow under his long eyelashes while his beautiful eyes were closed. His lips were really slightly parted, his white teeth showing a bit in the little gap his mouth was forming. Surprisingly, Tyler wasn’t embarrassed by the proximity. He felt safe, on top of Josh, with the warmth coming from his naked chest and from his arms wrapped around him. And when Josh moved a bit, opening his eyes slowly and smiling groggily to Tyler, it felt strange for the brown haired boy – what was happening? It felt like… something was tickling his stomach and his heart. Strange. But it didn’t scare him. It felt right.

“Hi.” Josh signed, making Tyler’s heartbeat go way faster. The fact that Josh learnt those things, even if they were simple, just to speak with him, was making his knees feel weak. Josh sat down, Tyler still on top of him, and he pulled him in a quick tight hug, humming in content. He pulled away not long after, and luckily, Tyler didn’t notice the pink shade that was growing on his cheeks.

They sat kind of awkwardly on the couch a few seconds, and Josh decided to write something down. “I’m sorry that I fell asleep. Do you want to do something special, now? Maybe watch a movie or play a game?” Tyler pondered a second and then surrounded “movie” with his finger. The older one was going to write “good”, but his index finger slides on the side of the paper, and a small cut with a drop of blood appears on it. Josh looks at it with disinterest, watching the drop of blood run on his finger towards the palm of his hand. But, unlike Josh, Tyler is terrified.

He climbs as quickly as he can on Josh’s lap, his knees beside both of the older boy’s thighs, taking the last said’s hand in his own hands. He looks at Josh, worried, who wants to tell him that it’s nothing but doesn’t know how. When he was about to mouth the words “it’s okay” to him, Tyler takes Josh’s hand towards his mouth, sticking his tongue out. Josh’s heart stops, just like his whole body. Tyler starts from the palm of his hand, and then goes up to the cut, licking the blood. He closes his eyes, and it becomes almost too much for Josh to handle it.

And it _really_ becomes too much for him when Tyler takes the finger in his mouth, wrapping his soft lips around it, sucking the tip of Josh’s index. It doesn’t take long for the last said to start panting, his head spinning around, and his nerves about to break while his blood seems to run a marathon towards _this specific place_. Of course, Tyler is not aware of how much what he does looks sexual, and it’s probably the biggest problem because when he finally open his eyes, his gaze is way too innocent, looking right into Josh’s eyes while he puts out the finger of his mouth, keeping the hand in his own.

Tyler looks at the cut and, noticing that it doesn’t bleed anymore, makes a thumbs up sign towards Josh, smiling brightly. His smile fades when he realizes that Josh is sitting as far as he can in the couch, the back of his left hand above his mouth, looking away while breathing heavily, and that his eyes are almost closed. The younger boy wraps his fingers with Josh’s hand that he holds, going closer to him (and I need to precise that he’s still on his lap, so he’s going closer to him _and_ to _something_ that Josh tries not to focus on) and with his voice, because he doesn’t know if Josh will understand, he asks while pointing at him “o..kay?” clumsily. Josh just nods as quick as he can, and the touch of Tyler’s hand in his own is electric, almost hurting him, the sound of his soft voice echoing in his ears and through his bones.

Knowing that he was going to do something that he would regret, Josh turns to put Tyler on the couch softly, trying not to let out the moan that was climbing in his throat, and quickly writes “I’ll be back in a second.” on the paper. Tyler nods slowly, not understanding what was happening.

Closing the door of the bathroom behind him, Josh puts his back against the wall and can’t help his hand to go where he wanted Tyler’s mouth to be wrapped around like it was around his fing- _wow stop, Josh_ , he thought, _don’t see him like this, he’s straight_. And doing what he has to do, Tyler is sitting on the couch, wondering what was happening and what was this strange atmosphere between them.

 

* * *

 

“The Last Exorcism? _Really?_ ” Josh asked with wide eyes. Tyler nodded. It was kind of a shitty movie, but he wanted to watch something that Tyler wanted to watch, and it would be cool with him anyway. He searched for the subtitles for what felt like hours, and the brown haired boy giggled softly when Josh finally shouted ‘ _ah!’_ when he found where the subtitles were.

Tyler looked towards Josh, not knowing how to ask if they could cuddle. So they sat kind of awkwardly, and when the first “scary scene” (which wasn’t scary at all for Josh) came, Tyler clinged on Josh while whining, melting in the arms that he wrapped around him and jumping a bit when the first jumpscare came, putting his face in the crook of Josh’s neck.

Tyler left Josh’s house late at night after the movie and some sign teaching to Josh. When the door closed, Josh fell on the couch, on his back. He can’t stop to smile widely and even to giggle a bit like a fourteen years old girl.

Oh _god_ , this deaf cutie was going to be the death of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> too much innocence Tyler yay  
> next chapter, Brendon is back :))
> 
> by the way, thank you so much for all your comments, bookmarks, kudos, they make me smile so much, ily all can i marry you all


	7. boys like boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is much longer than the last chapter so that's nice  
> but it doesn't mean it's better lmao :^)

Tyler was sitting with Brendon at the table of his kitchen with two coffees that his best friend made. He would’ve asked for hot chocolate like when he was with Josh, but he wasn’t sure if it was correct to ask something special when you’re not at your own house.

“So, what did you guys do?” Brendon signed with an excited smile, looking like a twelve years old girl waiting for new things to gossip about.

“I cooked him something, and then we cuddled. We fell asleep, and when we woke up we watched a movie, and I left.” Tyler signed back, smiling a bit when he remembered. Brendon pouted, furrowing his brows.

“That’s all?” He asked with his hands. Tyler answered by nodding, his smile growing each second. His friend looked at him while raising an eyebrow and an evil smirk appeared on his face.

“Are you sure? Did you suck him, Ty?” Brendon asked smiling devilishly. “Yeah, his finger, why?” Tyler answered innocently, and his best friend’s eyebrows travelled his massive forehead in a second, his eyes widening, and he literally spat his coffee on the cable. Tyler moved his head on the left like a curious puppy, not understanding what was happening. “What is going on, Bren?” He signed while Brendon was choking because he was laughing too much.

“What do you mean you sucked his finger?” He asked, red from his laughter. “Huh, he was bleeding. So I licked his finger. Like this.” Tyler answered, and he mimicked what he did to Josh’s index. Brendon froze with wide eyes. “And I don’t know why, but he reacted strangely. He was breathing like he ran a marathon and he went to the bathroom right after. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.” Tyler added, and then shrugged. There was a silence for a few seconds, and then Brendon almost screamed while laughing.

“What the hell, Tyler? You just went to a guy’s house – and he’s _obviously_ interested in you –, mimicked a _fucking blowjob_ to his _finger_ , turned him on without realizing it, like, you _seriously_ did it? Are you joking?” He signed, out of breath. Tyler blinked a few times. “Blowjob?” He asked, making Brendon explode in laughter again because of how innocent he signed it. “What does that mean?”

It took three whole minutes to Brendon to calm down. “I don’t know how to explain it without sounding weird, Tyler. You’re supposed to know what it is.” He answered. “Then show me.” Tyler signed to a Brendon almost falling from his chair. “I would’ve liked, but I’m straight, and you’re my best friend, sorry!” He answered, laughing again. “Straight? Yes, it’s obvious Brendon. You’re not supposed to be wavy.” Facepalm from Brendon. “And if I understand, a blowjob isn’t something that you do with your best friend?” His best friend was suffocating and opened the window, tears falling from his eyes, trying to stop laughing.

“Of course not, Tyler! It’s awkward, oh god. Okay, to be quick, a blowjob is a sexual thing, it’s when you take someone’s dick in your mouth, it, huh, kind of feels really good and you suck until, huh… _something_ comes out.” Brendon signed. It took a few seconds to Tyler to understand, and he put his left hand above his mouth, blushing crazily. “Do you mean he liked this? But it’s a finger, not… _another thing_?” Tyler signed with his right hand. “Yeah, but it must’ve been really exciting for him to wonder if it wasn’t his finger in your mouth but _another thing_ , to repeat what you said.” Brendon signed, calmed down a bit, feeling the need to explain to Tyler, even if it was kind of awkward to talk about blowjobs on fingers with your best friend.

“And, do you think he…” Tyler started and stopped himself, burying his face in his hands for a few seconds. “Do you think he would’ve liked me to do that?” Brendon looked at him, raising his eyebrows. “It’s something really personal, Tyler. You’ll know if you ask him.” Brendon joked, not realizing that he should’ve said that because Tyler didn’t get it was a joke. The younger boy nodded, his cheeks still a bit pink from what he just realized he did. So Josh was interested in him?

“Oh and, when I said _straight_ , I meant I only like girls, Tyler.” Brendon added. Tyler looked at him, shocked. “There are _words_ for what you like? This is strange.” He signed, and then blushed. “Bren?” He signed shyly. “Yeah?” Brendon answered. “Is it possible to… like boys when you’re a boy? I only saw girls being with boys, not boys with boys.” Tyler asked quickly and looked away. “Of course. Boys like boys like girls do, and girls can like girls too. You can like both girls and boys, too. You really didn’t knew that?” His best friend answered. Tyler looked down and shook his head with shame, his cheeks burning. So, it was possible for him to kiss a boy? To hug a boy, to be close to a boy? To do this sexual blowjob thing to a boy? He giggled. He doesn’t want to do this with a “ _boy_ ”. He wants this with Josh. Because he is nice, and gentle, and soft, and he understands, and Josh is pretty and it feels good to be around him, and too much things. Maybe one day he’ll do that with him.

Brendon stood up and poked the top of Tyler’s head to bring him back to reality before taking the empty cups of coffee. “What are you thinking about, diseased thing?” Brendon asked. It was a joke between them to call Tyler a diseased. Tyler laughed silently. “You’re the one who’s diseased.” He stood up quickly. “It doesn’t answer to my question.” Brendon raised an eyebrow. “Oh, it’s getting late. My mother is probably waiting for me. Bye, Bren!” Tyler almost ran outside while giggling like a little boy, happy of how he avoided Brendon’s awkward question, and of course he didn’t heard his best friend shouting ‘ _fucking Tyler Joseph, answer to my question!’_.

When he opened his door, his mother was watching a stupid TV show with a beer in the hand. It smelled bad in the room – alcohol, smoke. Tyler coughed, and his mother saw him. Luckily, she wasn’t drunk enough to not remember that he’s failure of son was deaf, so she signed “hi, you’re late” to him. Tyler apologized, but she started to get angry. She gulped a shot of whiskey Tyler didn’t saw, and looked at him. “Where were you, last night? I heard you coming back late at night.”

“I was at a friend’s house. I’ll left a note, the next time. Sorry.” He apologized again. She rolled her eyes. “And I hope the next time is soon. I can’t bear to see you.”

Her signs made Tyler’s heart break, again. Every time his mother was paying attention to him, it was to insult him or to tell him that she didn’t want him here. He went to his bedroom without another word, the tears beginning to drown his sight. Damn, he was weak. So fucking weak. He should be ashamed of who he was – he _was_ ashamed, in fact, but maybe not enough. Not enough to stay away from other people to keep them away from his weirdness. Not enough to stay away from the people he loved.

He took his phone out.

_from Josh : i can’t wait to see you again. :)_

He smiled through his tears.

_to Josh : I can’t wait either. Can I come over for the night? I’m sorry to ask this, but something happened with my mother._

He was surprised to feel his phone buzz just two seconds after.

_from Josh : are you okay? do you want me to pick you up?? take all the things that you need for as long as you want to stay, i don’t mind if it’s years, lol, jk, just take enough things. x_

Tyler’s smile widened even more, his heart felt warm and his stomach felt weird again. Weird, but it felt good.

_to Josh : I’m going to come by walking since you live ten or fifteen minutes away from your apartment. Thank you, Joshie. I’m coming as soon as I can._

He threw his flower kimono, two black shirts, his yellow hoodie, three pairs of skinny jeans, a black hoodie and some underwear in a backpack, locks his door and for the first time in his whole life, sneak out by his window. If his mother finds out, he’s _dead_.

Walking through the streets, he wonders why he’s trusting Josh. He’s just a random guy he met at a strip club. Wait – there was _girls_ in this club. So maybe Josh is… how did Brendon said? Right…? Oh no, straight, he said _straight_. Maybe Josh likes only girls. But Brendon also said that Josh was “obviously interested in Tyler”. Was it true…? Ugh, of course not. He’s deaf, ugly and dumb. Whatever.

Tyler’s eyes were still filled with tears when he recognized the building, and went in. He climbed the stairs and his heart began to beat way faster than usually. What was happening? Was he doing a panic attack…? No, he wasn’t. His thoughts were just around _Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh_ , and his heartbeat wasn’t painful. It felt right, again. He knocked maybe too softly and not enough, but Josh heard it anyway. He opened the door quickly, a wide smile on his face, making Tyler shiver strangely and his stomach ached in a good way once again. Tyler signed “hi” softly, trying to smile through his sobbing.

Josh’s smile dropped when he saw the beautiful boy’s stained cheeks. A shaky breath came out of his mouth and he pulled him in a tight hug. Their stomachs both exploded in millions of sharp butterflies suffocating their lungs, and Josh took Tyler’s hand to put in on his chest while he told soft things to him, right in his ear, to calm him down, like “It’s going to be alright, okay? You’re going to tell me what happened, it’s going to be alright.” And even if Tyler didn’t understood the words because his eyes were closed, because his body was glued with Josh’s, because his mind was racing around the thought of Josh in his arms and vibrations were running everywhere in his body, it calmed it down, feeling his voice between his cold fingers. He also felt Josh’s warm breath against his ear and it made him shiver from everywhere, the hair in the back of his head standing straight because of the goosebumps that Josh’s proximity was provocating.

Josh kissed his cheek and then his jaw, really softly, making Tyler blush, and he pulled away even if he didn’t want to.

Tyler didn’t push Josh away when he took his hand to drag him in his apartment. He didn’t push him away when he removed Tyler’s coat, and wrapped him in a blanket, handing him hot chocolate, and holding him as close as he could. He even put a shitty TV show with subtitles that meant nothing, just words following words, losing themselves in Tyler’s mind who was just thinking of one thing : the beautiful boy beneath him, while he was sitting on his lap, facing him, his left cheek on Josh’s chest. Josh was paying attention to the TV, or at least he pretended to – Tyler knew that his heart couldn’t be beating that fast just because of the nice set of Tupperware or anything that the girl was talking about on the TV. Tyler wasn’t paying any attention to the show, just burying himself as close as he can in Josh’s lap. It was relaxing him to feel Josh’s heartbeat against his ear, and he was beginning to fall asleep even if they were sitting.

When Tyler kissed Josh’s neck while saying clumsily “ ‘ood nigh’ joshie.” and wrapped his arms around Josh’s lower back, the yellow haired boy froze a second, glad that Tyler couldn’t see him blushing crazily because of his closed eyes, but then pulled him in the tightest and warmest hug you could ever imagine, dragging him against the sofa to lie him down, and they fell asleep in the arms of each other in a couch (it seems like Josh’s bedroom isn’t really useful for them), legs tangled together, in front of some shitty 3am TV show talking about the brand new vacuum that was coming out, Tyler’s head in Josh’s neck, breathing slowly. They fell asleep together, like the day before, even if this time it took more time to Josh who was trying to calm his heart down, which was fluttering, and he played with Tyler’s hair while he was sleeping, and even drew things and words on the brown haired boy’s arm.

This night, Tyler dreamed about how yellow was a beautiful color.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's unrealistic how they got close this fast but don't worry and prepare yourself because it's going to be evEN FASTER!!1!1!1!1  
> hope you liked ♥ thank you for all your feedback i almost cried, literally


	8. johnny boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the shittiest thing i've ever wrote  
> Enjoy it anyway i guess :‹

Josh woke up at 7am, remembering that he had a school test today. Tyler was still in his arms, their legs still tangled together, but he noticed that his right hand was placed in Josh's yellow hair, his fingers tangled gently in it. Josh could see him because the sun was beginning to rise. His mouth was closed, his pretty lips almost pouting, his breath was slow and calm, a relaxed feeling on his face. Josh wanted to kiss him, so he did it : he put a small peck on the tip of his nose (even if that wasn't _where_ he wanted to kiss him right now) and he didn't saw the wide smile that grew on the boy's angelic face as he got up slowly, trying not to wake him up.

Josh took out a new piece of paper and wrote down on it :

_"Hi, Ty. I hope you slept well. I'm sorry that I had to leave. If you're hungry, check in the fridge. Text me if you need anything. I'll be back soon. x "_

He put it on the table and went into the bathroom to get ready. As he entered in the shower, he felt a bit sad. Usually, he ditched school. He would've liked to stay home today, especially when there's a beautiful human being sleeping on his couch. But he couldn't miss a test. He'll ditch the regular classes anyway.  
Looking one last time to Tyler, seeing his innocent angel asleep, his legs wrapped around the blanket, made his stomach twitch, he got out. Hey, maybe he's having a small crush for Tyler already, who knows ?

 

* * *

 

Tyler felt empty when he woke up.  
Maybe not _empty_... He felt like someone took a part of him. He figured out that it was because Josh was gone.  
It's 2:46pm and he slept too much.  
He missed the feeling of the yellow haired boy's lips on his cheeks, on his nose, on his jaw, his forehead, and wherever he would want to put them. He missed his warmth, his smile, his crinkled eyes when he laughed, his strong arms wrapped around him that made him feel safe.  
When Tyler saw the note, he honestly thought of texting Josh, saying to him that he missed him way too much. But he didn't. Josh was at school.  
He didn't really know Josh was still going to school. In fact, he never saw the older boy go to it — but it's maybe pretty obvious because they talk since just a few days.  
So, Tyler just gets up, feeling too... _Lonely_ to eat something, deciding that he'll go to shower. He took out his yellow hoodie and a pair of black skinny jeans from his bag with clean underwear.  
Not wanting to make Josh pay thousands of dollars for water, he tried to be as quick as he could, washing his hair with a coconut scented shampoo and his body with a soap of the same scent.  
He dried himself quickly, throwing on his clothes. And he stood there for ten minutes, some tears falling.  
God. He was so clingy.  
Going back to the couch, he took the back of the paper where Josh wrote the lovely note. He closed his eyes a second, and when he opens them, he starts to write.

_no one really knows his mind_  
_and no one knows behind his eyes_  
_the man deserve's a medal_  
_but he's never really won a prize before_  
_he goes to lock the door_

Tyler let out a shaky breath, and a tear fell again.

_he is falling in love_  
_he knows it's enough_  
_and the world looks down and frowns_  
_get up Johnny Boy, get up Johnny Boy_  
_get up cause the world has left you lying on the ground_  
_you're my pride and joy, you're my pride and joy_  
_get up Johnny Boy because we all need you now_

Three more tears, five, nine, and then it feels like a thousands. But he's smiling. He's smiling because he writes down what he feels.

_i will carry all your names and i will carry all your shame_

Tyler starts to feel better. He can't help himself, he doesn't know how it will come out but he doesn't care. He opens his mouth, closing his eyes, and starts to sing what he just wrote. His throat starts to tickle gently, his heart feels really light, his lungs feel warm. It probably sounds cracky, horrific, senseless.  
But the yellow haired boy standing in front of the open door doesn't think it sounds horrific. He thinks it's the most perfect thing he's ever heard, and he dries a tear falling from his eye.  
He knocks on the wall, hard enough to make a vibration, and Tyler looks up, an horrified expression on his face.  
But when he sees Josh's fond smile, a drop of water stained on his NASA shirt, he calms down.  
Soon, warm arms are wrapped around him again, and when they pull back, a thumb wipes his tears away from his face. Tyler smiles, a crooked smile. But a true smile.

"Beautiful. Just like you. Perfect." Josh signed, making Tyler's smile even wider than it already was, and his eyes almost close from happiness.  
"Tyler." Josh continues, staring in the brown haired boy's eyes, losing himself in them. " _Tyler_." He repeats. "Josh." Tyler answers.

"Tyler. Prettiest thing."

and Tyler threw himself in Josh's arms, giggling happily. Yeah, definitely, a "crush".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw Tyler doesn't write Johnny Boy here talking about himself, or not entirely at least  
> The next chapter is probably going to be better i'm sorry for this one


	9. thigh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk it's way longer than the last one  
> hope you'll like it

The days spent away quickly, too quickly to Tyler's taste.

They woke up at 1pm every day, cuddling together for a moment, and then Josh would go to cook something to eat. After this, they would watch stupid TV shows, laughing about what they were saying or how they looked like — it was kind of rude, but they thought it was funny, so they didn't care. Tyler would teach a lot of signs to Josh, and he was learning really _really_ quickly. He could already talk with Tyler a lot easier than before. Around 2am, while they were cuddling again on the couch, Tyler would kiss Josh's cheek before saying good night to him, and going into a deep sleep with sweet dreams.

Tyler was at Josh's house since eight days now. He sent a text to his mother, but she didn't seem to want him back home. He ran out of clothes, and he noticed it when he was going to shower. He clumsily went to tug Josh's sleeve, who turned to look at him. "I don't have clothes anymore." Tyler signed, and Josh squinted his eyes when he searched what Tyler just said. He recognized clothes, and he understood. He said "Wait." and went to his room, followed not far behind by Tyler. He opened his closet and searched for clean clothes.

What would look good on Tyler? _Everything_ , he thought. It took time, especially because he needed to find something that would fit him since he was way shorter and way less massive than Josh. He finally picked an old X-Files shirt and a pair of really tight skinny jeans from when he was 14. He hoped it would fit him. He quickly put a boxer with it, awkwardly handing the clothes to Tyler.

The deaf boy showered quickly and when he got out of the bathroom, Josh's heart fluttered crazily. The shirt looked good on him, obviously, a bit oversized, that was cute. But the skinny jeans, _man_. He knew those were really tight, but this much? _Wow_. Josh’s own pants started to feel a bit tight and he literally checked Tyler out. His thighs were thicker than Josh expected, and his ass, oh _boy_. This kid is a blessing and his body is one too. Tyler started to blush under Josh insisting stare, he was biting his lip and looking up and down his body. The deaf boy was innocent and stuff, but it was such a suggestive stare that even him understood it. “What?” Tyler signed shyly. Josh snapped out of his thoughts, and started to blush. “Nothing, nothing.” He answered, looking away. “Pretty. _Really.”_ He signed, still looking away and blushing an even darker shade of red. Tyler giggled. Josh called him pretty. He wasn’t pretty at all, but if _Josh_ found that he was, it was enough to make him feel a warmth in his chest.

So he approached Josh and pulled him in a tight hug, and he closed his eyes, humming in content. He held him as close as he could, trying to express how much Josh already mattered to him so much, and when he felt something hard against his left thigh, he thought that it was probably Josh’s phone, even if a phone doesn’t twitch and gets hard like a rock when you whisper “Joshie.” in someone’s ear and presses your thigh even more on it as you scoot closer.

 

* * *

 

 

After another strange rush to the bathroom from Josh, they sat together on the couch, the yellow haired one sitting straight, and the brown haired one on his knees, his butt rested on his calves. They were learning how to say each parts of the body in sign language.

Tyler moved his index towards Josh’s face, poking his nose while giggling. “Nose.” He signed, and Josh repeated. Next, he poked his cheek. “Cheek.” He signed, and Josh did the same thing. He moved his index towards Josh’s faw, and brushed the tip against it. “Jaw.” He slided on his neck slowly and poked it. “Neck.” He signed while giggling. He puts his fingers on Josh’s mouth, who slightly parted his lips. “Mouth.” He says, and Josh repeated way clumsier than the other times. Tyler took his arm and slided his finger against it. “Arm.” Taking Josh’s hand in his own, he tangled their fingers together. “Hand.” Josh couldn’t stop the fond smile that came across his face. The younger boy took Josh’s hand to his own knee, and signed “Knee.” He slides up slowly, Josh’s hand going on his thigh, and the last said blushes a bit. “T-Thigh.” Tyler signed clumsily this time. He furrowed his brows. Putting his hand back on Josh’s, he slides it even upper on his thigh, just two inches away from _somewhere else_. Tyler’s breath hitched. “Josh.” He starts. “Why does it feel warm when you touch me here?” He signed, and Josh understood what he said in a few seconds. His face grew dark red.

Tyler started to breath a bit faster, panting a bit, and his eyes closed a bit. He bit his lip. He moved Josh’s hand in his inner thigh, and he literally _moaned_. And this was the cutest sound Josh had ever heard, but it also turned him on way to much, and he swallowed hardly, his head spinning a bit. He squeezed Tyler’s thick and warm thigh to have his attention, noticing that he was definitely getting really hard. Josh looked at him, and slowly removed his hand, and Tyler whined. He took the paper, and wrote “Tyler, you don’t know what you’re doing, do you?” and Tyler reads it quickly, his cheeks flushed, still panting, and he writes back “joshie what is going on it hurts, it feels so warm and so good but so wrong too just tell me what’s going on.” And when he reads this, his eyes widen. Fuck. He was definitely hard again too, and hearing a soft sound coming from Tyler didn’t calm him down. The brown haired boy was palming himself through his pants, and a tear fell from his eye. What was happening? He needs more, _more_ , he needs Josh to touch him like this.

Josh sighs, shaking a bit, and writes “I can help. But I need to know if you’re agree with it. I don’t want to do something against your will. Are you sure?” and Tyler nodded as fast as he could, not even answering by writing, and Josh wrote something again: “I’ll have to touch you.” and as an answer, he just earned a long breathless moan that made his dick twitch. Tyler really didn’t know what his body was doing. Of course it already happened, but he would wait for it to go away. But now, he felt so hard that it hurts, and, unlike other times, he wanted Josh to _touch_ him. Why was he doing sounds with his voice? He couldn’t stop them to slip out his mouth.

Josh sighed and turned himself towards Tyler. He unbuckled his belt with one hand, the other caressing Tyler’s face with his thumb. He removed the pants out of the way, a bit sad at first because it was really fitting Tyler, but what he saw under it wiped away this feeling. Tyler thick thighs were so soft and white, and he almost forgot that he was wearing _Josh’s boxers_ , black ones. He had never been so turned on in his whole life. The boy was now nibbling Josh’s thumb unconsciously, and his cheeks were flushed. Josh took a deep breath, and removed the boxers, to reveal Tyler’s hard cock, flushed red and he could see that it was aching really bad.

He was surprised to see that Tyler was _huge_. Not as big as Josh is, yes, but his dick was massive for a so tiny boy. He bit his lip. He thought a second about a blowjob, but he didn’t do it, afraid that it would be too much. He used Tyler’s pre-cum instead of spitting in his hand, and he began to stroke Tyler’s cock. The last said moaned, not used to this sensation, his oversensibility showing out. He gripped the edge of the couch, the warmth beginning to grow up between his thighs and under his stomach. As Josh slowly jerked him off, he was feeling something new… It was warm, it felt so good, and it made him want to kiss Josh even more than usually. He started to buck his hips unconsciously, so Josh started to stroke faster. Tyler was beginning to fall apart in Josh’s hand, little “ah, ah, ah” escaping from his mouth, lifting his hips slightly as he bit his fingers. As the yellow haired one was going faster and faster, his moans were growing louder and louder, his chocolate eyes disappearing behind his eyelids, and Josh tried his best to remember every single part of Tyler’s face in pure bliss, how his mouth was open, letting out the prettiest sounds, how his eyes were closed, and how his eyebrows were twisted in the cutest way. Tyler shot his eyes open, looking right in Josh’s sight, and Josh wants to kiss him so bad, but he doesn’t do it because it’s wrong, Tyler is not his boyfriend… he’s just a friend. He’s tossing him off, actually, but it’s just because he needed it. And even with this, he wants to kiss him so bad… So he does it. Not where he would’ve wanted, again, but he kisses him on his neck, biting gently too, right on a sweet spot, and it doesn’t take long for Tyler to come, shaking and letting out a loud high-pitched noise that will surely give them a noise complain, but Josh doesn’t care, and he almost comes in his pants when he hears Tyler whining _“ ‘osh, joo-josh..”_ as he’s working him through his orgasm.

Josh sits back on the couch, not knowing what to do with his hands covered in cum, so he licks it, and Tyler looks at him. He rushes to the paper and writes. “Thank you ! ♥ Do you want this blowjob thing? My best friend explained me what it was and he said that you would like if I did it to you. Can I try?” and as Josh’s eyes were reading the words, he was growing redder, and when he looked at Tyler who was standing on his knees on the couch, his doe eyes almost pleading him, he couldn’t help but nod. He wanted it, yes, he wanted it so bad. But he didn’t want to make it hard for Tyler. He had surely never done that with anyone before.

A wide smile appeared on Tyler’s face as he was putting back his boxers. “Joshie.” He whispered, grinding his hips against Josh’s crotch. “Joshie, Joshie, Joshie…” He whispered while going down slowly, almost whining, and it definitely made Josh moan. Tyler put his hand on Josh’s neck, signing quickly “I want to feel you.” with the other hand. He unbuckled his belt, and unbuttoned his pants with his teeth, and Josh was turning crazy when he slided down his boxers with his teeth too.

Tyler remembered how he did on Josh’s finger. So he started from the base of Josh’s dick, and licked up until he was on the tip, sucking it gently. He knew that he was doing right when he felt the vibration through his arms that Josh was making. He began to take as much as he could of Josh’s cock in his mouth, but it was really really big, so he couldn’t take it entirely. He just held it at the base with his hand that was free, and he moved it gently. He started to move his head back and forth Josh’s length by reflex, not really knowing what to do, and as he Josh started to send more and more vibrations under his hand, he looked up to look up right in his eyes. The yellow haired boy tugged at Tyler’s hair, his mouth slightly open and his eyes hooded, his cheeks were pink and his chest was rising quickly, making Tyler whine a bit at the view. He looked beautiful.

Tyler began to slide his tongue against Josh’s dick, making him buck his hips, and he was taking more and more length in his mouth. He felt something strange, and when he felt Josh start to shiver and to twitch a lot, he removed his mouth, working with his hand instead, still looking at Josh and a few seconds after, Josh said something that Tyler recognized as “oh god, Tyler” and a white liquid, warm and sticky, came out of his dick, landing itself on Tyler’s nose and cheeks, on his fingers too. He removed his hands from Josh’s body and began to lick his fingers as Josh was panting, recovering his thoughts. He quickly put back his boxers on with his pants, and took a tissue to wipes Tyler’s face. The last said looked _so happy_.

“I’m sorry.” Josh signed when Tyler finally got up, smiling widely, sitting on Josh’s lap. He didn’t really understand why he was apologizing. “Do you promise you still want to stay with me?” Josh signed, before putting his pinky finger in the air. Tyler looked at him. “Of course, Joshie!” and he wrapped their pinkies together. He didn’t understood why he said that at first, but then he remembered. Brendon said that you don’t do that with a friend. Oh. And that it was a sexual thing. _Oh_. Did they just have _sex_? Tyler blushed and was almost sure they did, even if Josh didn’t put his length in _this specific hole_ , like he saw one time on TV, and it seemed weird to him because when he saw it it was with a girl. He wasn’t a girl. So how does it work? Aw, man. That’s tough to understand.  He held Josh closer, and he fell asleep not long after, feeling exhausted. Was it from what they just did? What were they for each other?...Boyfriends?

Josh decided that taking a nap wasn’t a bad idea, and for the first time since Tyler was at his house, he carried him towards the bedroom and put him under the covers of his bed, joining him a second after, right after putting his shirt off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was shitty wasn't it omg  
> thank you so much everyone♥


	10. cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> crappy and short chapter i'm sorry i'm tired omg  
> i'm sorry there will be one or two chapters more full of fluff and then we'll start to have a real story lol

Josh kissed softly Tyler’s collarbones, and then his neck, his jaw, his cheek, his nose, his forehead. The brown haired boy opened his eyes groggily, groaning a bit. He felt Josh’s hand pushing on his cheek and he saw him pointing at the clock – 6:54pm. Oh god, what? They literally slept for hours.

The older boy took a piece of paper and showed it to Tyler. “Get up Ty, I’m taking you out to eat something.” And as Tyler saw this, he smiled widely and sat on the bed. He hugged Josh tightly quickly and ran to the living room where the pants were still on the couch, and he puts them as quick as he can, looking like an excited child. Josh chuckles and brush the younger’s hair with his fingers a little. Feeling like it would be a bit cold outside, he handed Tyler a black jersey jacket, and the last said puts it happily, noticing that it smells like Josh. And Josh’s heart melts when he sees this beautiful boy wearing his old clothes, a bit oversized (except for the _lovely_ skinny jeans), he’s looking way too cute.

Josh puts his coat on and takes Tyler’s hand as they go out of the apartment, still taking a piece of paper and a pen, not caring about the cold eggs and bacon that were waiting on the bar of the kitchen since hours.

As they go out of the building, the cold air starts to bite Tyler’s nose, and he starts to shake a bit. Seeing it, Josh holds him as close as he can, and puts the brown haired boy’s hand in his pocket. Tyler giggles and blushes a bit. He feels so good when he’s with Josh, and strange things happen in your body. Brendon once explained him that when you’re getting butterflies in your stomach, when your heartbeat starts to get crazy, when you feel vibrations through your fingers, when you feel happy around someone, when you need them, you’re probably liking them, maybe loving them. Did he love Josh…? Was he in love with him? He knew nothing about love. He was feeling Josh’s stare on him, and when he lifted up his eyes, Josh quickly looked away, blushing a bit.

They were walking silently (of course), Josh’s thumb brushing Tyler’s hand with a soft smile. They finally got into a kind of cheap dinner thing, but it was small and warm so Tyler didn’t care. He was with Josh anyway so it would be cool.

They ordered a simple pizza for both of them, and Josh wouldn’t have thought that eating a cheap pizza in mid-November with a deaf boy would be so cool. In fact it wasn’t _a_ deaf boy. It was _the_ deaf boy. He hoped that he could call him _his_ deaf boy, but he wasn’t sure of what they were to each other after what happened the last day. It seemed to feel natural for Tyler to do this with Josh, and the last said found this so pure and cute that Tyler was so innocent, he literally knew nothing about love and stuff, but he was still giving Josh all he had. Josh knew that the boy definitely wasn’t straight after what happened. Maybe he’ll have a chance. Or maybe Tyler did this because he wanted to experience, or because nobody else was here to help him out, and Tyler wasn’t realizing that it was a sexual act. He thought that the boy couldn’t be not knowing this, even if he was the most innocent person on earth.

They ate silently, writing down random things, Josh telling stories with words to Tyler as he watched at his lips with puppy wide eyes with his hand on his jaw, trying to understand as well as he could the stories. And even if the stare at his lips wasn’t for a need of a kiss, the need to kiss the younger boy was crawling in Josh’s chest. He tried his best to ignore it.

When they got out of the restaurant, after Tyler insisted to pay but Josh refused and paid instead, earning whines from the deaf boy, the air was even colder than before.

Tyler stopped, taking Josh’s hand to stop him too.

Josh turned towards him, looking at him to understand what was going on. “Jish.” Tyler says. “Jishwa.” And it makes Josh giggle because of the way he says Joshua. Suddenly, Tyler scoots closer. “Kiss.” He says softly, clumsily. Josh blushes softly and kisses his cheek softly, and then smiles. But Tyler pouts and he grips Josh’s shirt with his small hands. “ _Kiss_.” He says again, furrowing his brows, and Josh understands. So he cups Tyler’s cheek softly, while the brown haired boy closes his chocolate eyes, and he closes the small gap between them. It was the purest kiss he ever had, and billions of butterflies explode everywhere in his lungs. Vibrations runs through the tip of his fingers. He feels Tyler’s heartbeat go faster as he comes closer to Josh, deepening the kiss a bit.

When they pull away, stars are shining in their eyes.

Maybe Tyler loves Josh, a bit. A little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed anyway♥


	11. kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the shortest chapter i've ever wrote

Tyler doesn’t feel cold anymore when they walk silently towards the apartment, a bit quicker than before. He needs to feel Josh’s lips against his, it’s a strange feeling, and his whole body is shivering, not from the cold but from Josh’s touch.

When the door closes behind them, Tyler throws himself on Josh. Their lips crash together, and start to move a bit, but the older boy breaks quickly the kiss, gasping for air. The deaf boy grips Josh’s shirt and looks at him with impatience. Josh felt like his heart was going to come out of his chest. He gently cups Tyler’s jaw, and softly leans down to kiss him, the brown haired boy’s arms going around Josh’s neck. Their lips start to dance together, and tongues get involved not long after, making Tyler gasp softly to the new sensation.

He feels his cheeks grow warm, electricity seems to run through his veins, and whenever he feels Josh’s nose against his, Josh’s hands, Josh’s taste, Josh’s hair, _Josh, Josh, Josh_ , his whole body is vibrating. As Josh scoots closer, he pushes him gently against the wall, pinning him with his body. Tyler definitely _moans_ softly, and they wrap their fingers together with a hand, the other hand brushing everywhere it could. After almost an hour of making out, Josh bites softly Tyler’s bottom lip, and ends the kiss, looking at Tyler.

With his hand that isn’t holding Josh’s, Tyler traces Josh’s jaw with his index finger, before brushing his lips. He pecks them cutely, and whispers “ ‘ank you.”. It makes Josh smile wide, and he pulls him a tight and warm hug.

It was already 11pm. They decided to change clothes to something more comfortable, and Tyler begged for Josh to stay with him, so they changed in the same room, at the same time. It was kind of hard for Josh not to look.

They were both wearing just sweatpants when they sit down on the bed, Tyler climbing on Josh’s lap. This night, they didn’t watch TV, they didn’t cuddle in silence. Josh explained to Tyler the meaning of his colorful tattooed arm, he told him the story of how he made a stupid scar that he has on his hip, and that is almost invisible. He told so many things, with Tyler’s hand on his chest, feeling the vibrations and looking at his lips to understand as much as he could, and when he finished, the deaf boy removed his hand.

He talked about his mother, slowly signing for Josh to understand, he tried his best, he understood a lot of things, and he just took Tyler in his arms, hugging him tightly while brushing his hair as he started to cry quietly. It wasn’t simple for Josh to see the boy like this, and he cried a bit, too. Tyler talked about Brendon, after, too. And Josh was grateful that he has someone like this in his life. He also talked about how it was to live when you can’t hear. How he would love to hear Josh’s voice.

When the sun was beginning to rise, Tyler also talked about his feelings, and he signed something that Josh didn’t understand at first.

But when he closed his eyes with Tyler already asleep against his chest, under the covers, he realized. As his eyelids were too heavy to open, he understood.

_“I think I’m in love with you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm dumb and i make things go way too fast


	12. movie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i took centuries to udpate this i'm so sorry omg  
> it's so shitty  
> hope you'll like it anywayyy

Tyler felt fingers gently stroking his arm up and down, sending a shiver down his spine. Josh's fingers. He smiled without opening his eyes, and he felt Josh scooting over closer, pecking his forehead and holding him tightly.

The deaf boy felt so good.

Feeling Josh's heartbeat and breath was all he could wish for, now. It felt so safe. It felt like home.

He finally opened his eyes a few minutes after, and he wanted to cry from happiness. Josh's look was so fond towards him, he was smiling widely, his eyes all crinkled, his hair going everywhere wildly.

"Hi." Tyler signed with a small smile. Josh replied with the same sign, before going closer to Tyler again, holding him against his chest, starting to stroke his hair softly. The younger boy hummed in content. Everything felt _so_ right right now, and as much as he wanted to sob, he didn't.

Never in his life he'd felt so loved and cared about.

Never in his life he'd been cared about.

Never in his life he'd been cuddled and kissed.

Josh got up, still holding Tyler, and he lifted him up bridal style to go towards the kitchen. He made him sit dosn, kissed the tip of his nose, making Tyler blush, and he started to cook breakfast for him.

Tyler couldn't stop the smile to grow on his face as he watched Josh cooking ; going around everywhere, scratching his head a bit when he was reading the receipe, shotting smiles towards Tyler, and caring, caring so much.

God, Tyler was so in love with him. It wasn't "I think" anymore. He was _sure_.

He didn't care that Josh didn't answer, though. He probably didn't understand this sign anyway, because they didn't learn it together. Maybe he learnt it on his own?

Maybe Josh doesn't love him back? Maybe he hates him?

Tyler's smile dropped and he looked down at his lap while swinging his legs. Of _course_ Josh doesn't love him back. Tyler is deaf, stupid, ugly and clingy. Josh is beautiful, smart, funny, attractive, perfect, and he can perfectly hear.

Tyler started to sing really quietly to stop the tears to come out. It was a low hum, but he just needed to feel the vibrations of something, even if it was just his own voice.

He felt another vibration when Josh slided a plate in front of him. In it, there was a cat head shaped pancake, with two eyes and a mouth that were drew with syrup, and little hearts beside it that Josh drew with chocolate.

Tyler started to giggle, and then it slowly became loud sobs. Josh looked at him with wide eyes and didn't wait to hold him again, as tight as he could. He took the boy's hand to put it against his chest and started to repeat to him that he was so important, that he should say to Josh what was wrong, that Josh found him perfect.

When the sobs stopped, Tyler pulled away slightly, just to see Josh's face.

"Josh."

It was kind of cracky, but Tyler said it with his beautiful voice, and whenever he did that, Josh was just melting because _god_ , it must be so hard to talk when you can't hear yourself, it must be so hard for him...

"Again." Josh signed, surprising himself.

"Josh." Tyler repeated, a bit louder.

Josh's breath hitched. "Again, please, again." He signed shakily. Tyler was leaning closer to him, slowly.

"Josh, Josh, _Josh_."

The gap was closed and their lips touched sweetly. They both smiled in the kiss, and when they pulled away, their smiles grew even wider.

Tyler ate his breakfast happily, feeling alive.

 

* * *

 

 

Josh took Tyler's hand. They were going at the movies, before going to eat some Taco Bell because Tyler never ate Tacos.

Josh hesitated before taking him to the movies though, he didn't want him to feel uncomfortable. He found a movie that seemed cool with subtitles for him to understand.

It didn't took long for them to arrive, and they sat together in the back.

Tyler would lie if he said that he listened to the movie. Josh too.

For two hours straight, they couldn't focus on the film. Fingers entrelaced, thumbs stroking hands, knees bumping together. Everything made their hearts beat fast.

For Tyler, it was mostly because all those things were new to him. He's never experienced something like this before.

For Josh, it was because he was in love.

Of course he was. As cheesy as it sounds.

So when they came out of the room, Josh and Tyler stopped and stood silently.

Tyler wasn't sure of what he was about to do.

But he was sure of one thing : he was in love with Josh.

Slowly and shyly, he turned towards Josh, and looking down, he tugged a bit on the yellow haired boy's sleeve. The last said looked at Tyler, locking their gazes, asking silently with a move of his eyebrows what was going on. The younger boy crashed his lips on Josh's, who was surprised, but kissed back a few seconds after and cupped Tyler's cheek.

Even if they kissed before, this was different. So different.

The explosion of butterflies in the brown haired boy's stomach almost scared him. Yes, every time Josh touched him, it made his whole body vibrate and shiver. But now, it was so different. As they were moving their lips together, Tyler felt like the whole world had stopped turning, that the universe had stopped living, that everything was in slow-motion. All that he felt was Josh's soft lips — and he had to admit that it felt like heaven — and his really fast heartbeat as he placed his hand on the older boy's chest.

He pulled away and smiled widely to Josh.

The latter lifted up his hand, hesitantly, and then signed.

"I think I'm in love with you, too."

The world stopped again for Tyler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❤


	13. knock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That. Is. So. Shitty.

Josh was woken up by loud bangs on the door. Tyler was still sleeping, his head resting on Josh's chest. The yellow haired boy thought that maybe he was dreaming, and even if he wasn't, the person knocking at his door in the middle of the night will probably leave soon.

"OPEN THE _FUCKING DOOR!_ " A man's voice yelled, banging on the door even louder. Josh's heart missed a beat. He gently put Tyler beside him on the bed, removing him from his chest, and got up as quickly as he could.

It wasn't quick enough for the man who started to bang violently again. "I'm here, stop this!" Josh said, anger filling his veins. As soon as he opened the door, a boy that seemed around Tyler's age, with a huge forehead and dark eyes, grabbed him by the shirt violently.

"Where is Tyler?! Tell me where he is, _NOW!"_ He yelled, his voice shaking, and Josh's jaw fell open. He couldn't even form a single word. He didn't have to, because soon after, a little voice was heard behind them. Tyler let out a little yelp. He was standing in front of them, still sleepy, with one of Josh's light blue button-up that was way too big for him, and Josh's heart fluttered. You couldn't look more innocent than him.

The man let go of his shirt, and slapped Tyler. Hard.

The sound echoed in the room, and the silence that fell became almost too heavy to bear.

Josh grabbed the man's arm roughly. "I think the fuck _not,_ man." He growled, teeth clenched. The boy glared at him. "M'Brendon, and I won't hesitate to call the police if you don't let go of my arm now, and _trust me,_ you would be in trouble for hiding a teenager who ran away from home."

Josh's grip loosened, and his eyes went wide. _Hiding_ Tyler? "Oh, don't act like you don't know, dude." Brendon spat, before turning to face Tyler, who was still holding his cheek.

Brendon started to move his hands everywhere like he was crazy, signing god knows what to Tyler, and eventually, a tear fell on the deaf boy's face, or two, three, and a lot of others. He was just answering by signing _"sorry"_ over and over again. The taller man signed something, and Tyler didn't move for a few seconds.

He lifted up his eyes filled with tears to look at Brendon. "I love him." He signed.

"You don't know anything about love." Brendon signed back.

Josh went between them. "Enough." He spat to Brendon, who glared at him, and he stroked gently Tyler's cheek before kissing him softly. "Get away from him, punk ass." Brendon grunted, and Josh snorted. "That's my boyfriend, and I don't think you have the right to say what I have to do."

"Well, that's my _best friend,_ and I knew him since I was a _fucking_ kid, he's like my brother, and I do think I have the right to say what I think of all of this while he disappeared for almost _three fucking weeks!"_ Brendon answered shakily, a tear falling from his eye from anger, before taking Tyler's hand in his own. The deaf boy looked at Josh, who nodded, before smiling fondly and mouthing the words _"love you"._ Tyler decided that he would follow Brendon.

"You're in _so much trouble,_ Dun."

The door was slammed soon after, a half-naked Tyler disappearing behind it.

 

* * *

 

"Why in _hell_ did you not answer to all of my texts, Tyler?" Brendon signed shakily, not holding the tears back anymore. "I thought that my mother would tell you and I didn't even saw your texts, Bren!" The deaf boy answered angrily.

Brendon rubbed his face with his palms. "Why did you left like this? What happened for you to think that running away was a fucking good idea, Tyler?"

Tyler looked down, ashamed. "The abuse just became too much to handle, and it was like the words that made it all blow up that night, I was planning on coming back soon. I wouldn't have been away forever."

Brendon froze. "Why didn't you tell me? Fuck, I feel bad for insulting you, now. That fucking _bitch."_ He signed, before sitting on the edge of the stairs, head in his hands.

Tyler sat beside him, and they just stood like this for a few minutes. Tyler finally tugged on Brendon's sleeve, before hugging him quickly but tightly. When he pulled away, he smiled. "Let's talk about this with Josh, okay?" He asked, and Brendon nodded slowly.

They didn't knock on the door before entering again, just to find Josh sitting on the couch, head in his hands.

The yellow haired boy stood up and sniffed. "Well, I don't think we met properly." Brendon said before holding his hand out. Josh tried his best not to crack a smile - and failed - and shook his hand, nodding briefly. "Joshua William Dun, nice to meet you." He said, trying not to sound sarcastic. Brendon smirked. "Yeah, m'Brendon Urie, m'glad to meet you and all that shit. We have much more important things to talk about right now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it anyway idk


	14. NOT A CHAPTER

I'm probably going to orphan this work — or at least, stop updating it.

 

Looking back to this I literally hate what I've done with this idea. I wasn't going for this at all at the beginning, but then I had requests about it and I did was people requested me to do.

 

I'll probably delete all the chapters soon, and write this again, still with deaf!Tyler meeting Josh in a club, but the plot will be different.

 

Thanks to everyone who followed and liked this!


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